It turns out that Calgary women are some of the least pickiest in Canada when it comes to online dating. I’m not sure how I feel about that as a woman living in Calgary. . . .
According to the article “Vancouver women most ‘picky’ with online dating matches” by Lauren Strapagiel, women in Calgary, Edmonton, and Toronto and the most likely to reply to online messages on dating sites. I think that sometimes people get distracted by possession and forgot about personality. For some people, discussing whether granite or marble makes the best countertop in a brand new build out in the newest subdivision that can be driven to in a brand new vehicle with all of the extras is a topic suitable for the first date (true story).
This idea of being picky and looking for substance not sparkle was sparked when I was reading Joan Clark’s novel An Audience of Chairs. Although I’m only half way through the book, I wanted to share some of my thoughts.
In the novel, the story follows the life, thoughts, and ideas of Moranna “Mad Mory” MacKenzie. When Moranna first meets her husband Duncan, she is able to see substance beneath sparkle: “He wasn’t what she would call handsome, but that didn’t matter because she preferred unusual, intelligent-looking men and Duncan fit the bill with his reddish-gold hair, granny glasses and high, narrow forehead that made him look erudite and scholarly” (pg 70).
I think the obsession society has with looks and possessions is causing people of substance to become overlooked. Also, have we become a disposable society? Once you are done with your partner and have taken what you need, it suddenly becomes time to move on and find someone else who will give you what you need? What happened to building lasting relationships. Build is the key there. Effort is required, not just a new purse or sports car.
I can’t help but think that there is danger in not being picky, for both men and women. After reading the Calgary Herald‘s article “15,000 women turned away from shelters,” I can’t help but think that surface relationship aren’t working. The fact that there are 15,000 women who were turned away from receiving help last year shows that men and women in this province need more help and education when it comes to how to build relationships.
I suppose that Moranna from An Audience of Chairs isn’t the best example of how to build a relationship, yet I think that Clark has worthwhile ideas when it comes to Moranna’s attraction to Duncan: “Duncan’s maleness seemed more cerebral and was embodied in his elegant hands and high forehead, his inquisitive eyes, their blueness magnified by glasses . . . they were both nonconformists and individualists, free thinkers who weren’t content with the mundane and looked for ways to put their unique stamp on the world . . . He was the first man she had met who was ambitious to achieve something beyond the ordinary” (pg 72 and 73).
I think I’m ok with being picky. Now to spread the word to the rest of Calgary!